Sex is Not Vital For a Loving Relationship (No matter what real or fictional therapists tell you)
Excerpt: This supposed professional just denied the existence of asexuality. She erased the right of not just asexuals, but people with physical disabilities which preclude sex, to be in a “loving relationship”. She basically implied that survivors of sexual trauma need to have/resume having sex or they cannot be loved.
I was watching an episode of a TV show last night. The cop buddies had signed up for a relationship therapy weekend, hoping to improve their often troubled partnership and enjoy the scenic setting on the island where the sessions were being held.
Surprise, the therapy session was meant for couples in romantic relationships. This is revealed when the itinerary has an item called “overcoming sexual incompatibility.”
“Sex is a vital component for a loving relationship,” the therapist says.
I feel the need for a gif.
Love equals sex? This supposed professional just denied the existence of asexuality. She erased the right of not just asexuals, but people with physical disabilities which preclude sex, to be in a “loving relationship”. She basically implied that survivors of sexual trauma need to have/resume having sex or they cannot be loved.
It’s played for laughs, because, lol, two men being close, lol! I’ll come back to that in a minute. My point is that is dangerous, it is harmful and hurtful, to insist that love=sex, that sex is something you must do with someone you love.
The only real love presented in this scenario is between a man and a woman or, if you really must a male/male or female/female, and that love is only truly expressed by sex. (The kind of person that believes this often struggles to imagine what the hell lesbians do, nor can they imagine a gay couple who don’t have anal sex, because their heterocentrism precludes such forbidden knowledge).
Despite sex being “vital” the therapist insists they stay:
“While it’s true this workshop is geared toward couples, many of the principles covered here– such as communication, trust and teamwork– apply to all relationships. Including working partnerships.”
The other couples aren’t so sure about their inclusion, these men are not a couple. But one male participant – of course it is a man – says
“They’re stuck in a relationship they can’t get out of, they fight all the time, and they don’t have sex. It sounds a lot like our marriage to me.
See, this poor man is at a couples retreat because he’s unhappily married and it’s implied he can’t divorce, and that he’s unhappy because he and his wife fight all the time which is probably because they’re not having sex! Sex is the only answer, if she’d just put out instead of talking to him, they’d be happy!
The other couples at the session by the way, are two sets of male/females and one female/female and that last is possibly the only nod to the existence of gay people in this show in its entire run (currently in its sixth season).
This episode is strong on the queerbaiting, because they’re a couple but Not Really, LOL they’re straight as straight thing that’s been straightened, no gay here, no way, ever, but they love each other so much but not that way you perverts.
So, in summary:
Sex = love.
Sex = real relationship.
Other “relationships” = not as good as sexual ones.
Asexuals/people with disabilities/sexual trauma survivors = non-existent/not worthy of loving relationships.
Queerbaiting = check.
Can’t mainstream shows do better than this? They should be doing so.