Fiction: Unicorns

Title: Unicorns
Rating: Mature
Word Count: 457
Prompt: For the Merry Month of Masturbation site and my solo celebration bingo prompt ‘virginity’
Summary: What is virginity, does masturbation count, and why would a unicorn care? One woman’s ownership of her body frustrates the clergyman who thinks she needs tutoring in how to tame a unicorn.
Content Notes: No standard warnings apply. Masturbation.
Originally posted to my original fiction blog

Image base from morguefile

“You wicked creature.” The cleric pointed an accusing finger at the girl.

She leaned back on the narrow bed, smoothing her skirts back over her legs. If he’d knocked, he would not have caught her with her fingers at her clit and so he only had himself to blame if he was horrified at the sight. “Why is it wrong to take pleasure in my own body?”

“Because your virginity must be maintained.”

“So I can communicate with unicorns.” She folded her arms and rolled her eyes. It might have earned a peasant a beating, but she was of noble birth and had more leeway regarding her behaviour.


She shrugged. “But Brother Abel said sex is when a man places his penis into a woman’s vagina. Or, in a sinful fashion, a man places his penis into another man’s butt.”

Brother Frank frowned. “Yes…”

“So it’s not sex when I touch myself with my fingers.”


“What about candles?”

Brother Frank blinked. “What about candles?”

“If I put a candle in my vagina, does that count as sex? It has a similar shape,” she said, cupping her fingers and jerking her hand back and forth, “and the motion would be similar.”

Brother Frank blinked more rapidly. “No. But it’s sinful. Pleasure is sinful.”

“Even between a man and woman?”

“Yes. A penis can be put into a vagina only to make a child.” Brother Frank felt he was on safer ground here.

She nodded. “But isn’t it true that unicorns don’t care about sin? Only about sex.”

“Yes, I think…” Theology was not actually Brother Frank’s strong point.

“So does a candle count as losing my virginity or not? Does it have to be a penis?”

Brother Frank swallowed. “I’m going to go and fetch the abbot.”

She smirked as he turned and left the room. Sister Ariana had told her, long before these ridiculous men had decided to “train” her, that unicorns could be tamed only by those who knew the secret. It had nothing to do with sex, or virginity, or penises, or indeed vaginas. In fact the idea had been invented by a woman. A ruse in order to protect herself from the uncouth men who had demanded she tame the wild unicorn.

“Then you shall not touch me, for I must be chaste,” she said, and the myth had persisted ever since.

Brother Frank, like other men before him, feared being gored by the horned horse. She had no such fear, for she knew the true secret. And once she took the strands from the golden mane, she was going to free herself from the family who’d given her over to these clergyman, find Ariana again, and train to be a priestess.

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